There's something you should know about NYC Transportation....it sucks.
Introverts like me can't stand being around people or being forced to touch them, but in NYC, you don't have a say-so in this matter. You take public transpo, and sooner or later, you're going to be forced to smash your butt cheeks against a burly stranger in a puffy jacket and both of you will pretend not to notice how awkward it is.
After one shitty day at work, I was sighing my way through Union Square traffic, when this kid and his mom hopped aboard, and because it was SRO at this point, it was necessary for them to plant their backsides in front of me. Now, I only had two stops left before my freedom on 1st street, but you gotta understand...I had a really bad day.
The kid, I don't know...about 6 or something, proceeds to sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" over and over again, interrupted several times by asking if they were going to McDonalds after this. Then he begins to sway back and forth, (dancing?) as he starts up another round of screeching patriotism. My teeth are gritting, fists clenching--how can his mother be immune to this? Did she not teach him what an "Inside Voice" is? Was my mother the only one in the world who sent me rolling over like a submissive dog if I so much as peeped for gum at the store?
Next stop comes, folks get off; just one more....oh God, just let me make it to one more stop....
Less folks mean room for aisle racing. This kid begins to hop up and down the gap between his mother and the seats behind me, bumping my arm and dislodging more of my sanity at each pass.
"Caleb...settle down, honey," Mom says, barely looking up from her newspaper. No, he can't hear you. He's on the third verse of our National Anthem, mama.
My foot sneaks out to the aisle. It's involuntary, I swear.
WHACK! Who would have thought a 6 year old could pack such a wallop?
He lays there, stunned. Somewhere in the back of the bus, someone snickers.
"Caleb! I told you to settle down!" Mom grabs his arm, hoists him up. She glances at me, and my eyes avert down to my CD player. "I'm sorry!" she mouths, smiling. I shrug, like it's no big deal, like "Hey, he wasn't bothering me."
I will not lie. It felt great.
However, other reasons persuaded me to begin taking the subway home, which was a shame, because not many young kids take the subway. Still, I found great satisfaction in remaining seated as old or pregnant folks glared at me.
Those bench seats are pretty roomy.
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So you tripped a six year old kid on a bus who was a little noisy? Then blogged about it. I'm curious, was your mother really that domineering or are just just a nasty person? Just kidding. You need to work on your tenses. It would make reading this so much nicer. Then again, perhaps not. hahaha, Just kidding.
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